He's Insane!
by RodentsRock
Summary: Christine has everything she wants; a happy family, supportive friends, good grades, a caring and handsome boyfriend, and a modest cover song YouTube channel with a loyal following. However; everything changes when she is taken into the unyielding grasp of an older masked man. If that wasn't bad enough; he is possessive, overbearing, obsessed, and claims to be in love with her.
1. Chapter 1

I cannot be alone anymore.

That's what he said to me in the morning about a week and a half ago while picking feathers off of his jacket. Why? Because you would probably throw the nearest thing at someone after you awaken to find them looming over you, the closest thing I had just happened to be a down stuffed pillow.

But anyways, now I am stuck with him within ten feet of me; all day, every day. Ugh. He follows me around my room, around the house, just basically follows me everywhere. The only "alone" time I get is when I'm in the bathroom changing, bathing, or doing my um…business. But even then he is right outside of the door, his shadow pacing back and forth, his separation anxiety is palpable. And once I get outside of the bathroom, he'll engulf me in a hug for ten minutes, whispering his happiness and love to me and sometimes even crying because his "torture" has ended, then he is even more clingy and on my heels for the next hour.

I hate it! I hate him! But most of all, I hate myself for making him do this.

Yes, I know I'm not technically "making" him do anything but I do know that he is obsessed with me and seems to need me like I need air or sunlight. I know he thinks himself deeply and passionately in love with me, and he himself has said he worships me… so I should have realized a man that brings in top medical professionals and military personnel if I simply have a headache or scratch would act this way to me going outside unaccompanied. I should have never have tried to go outside on my own, I just missed the sunshine after so long; and yes he would have taken me or sent a security team with me or something, but I just wanted to walk in the gardens alone and pick a few measly flowers! We have five sets of security gates, a satellite and an underground security system for crying out loud!

And now I cannot even talk to any of the servants alone anymore, he just has to be there too. God he is so overprotective! And he's possessive! I can't even talk to the women without him wrapping an arm around my shoulders and dragging me into his freaking cloak cocoon. I am unable to be carefree in my conversations anymore, partially because he makes me nervous and terrifies the servants, but because anything beyond short and polite small talk apparently diverts attention from him. Today my hair clip fell out and a young butler guy bent down and gave it to me, and I had the "audacity" to softly thank him with a shy smile. Well, Erik was so butt hurt about it that he had the guy beat up, fired, shipped overseas, and then he dragged me to one of the living rooms to hold and pet me on the couch as he whimpered insecurities into my hair, and about how he should have gotten the hair clip for me instead of the butler. He was just trying to be helpful, he didn't deserve to be sent to Timbuctoo!

He even said "Christine is pure. Christine is a good girl. She does not need friends; she has her slave… her Erik" he held me tighter then and gasped into my neck "he loves her so much he could not bear it!" he started sobbing then, and even with my heart beating quickly I just had to roll my eyes at his dramatics. I would totally need a shower after this, my neck was wet and my hair was probably full of snot!

"I don't belong to you Erik" I mumbled with a pout, then felt my face go red after realizing I had spoken out loud.

He stopped crying and was silent for a few long moments before he leaned back to look at me and gently drag his fingers along my scalp as he looked into my eyes with a gentle softness. "Not yet my darling, not yet…"

I got pretty unnerved after hearing that. I mean, he apparently "doesn't own me yet" and is already in my life twenty-four seven, three hundred and sixty-five days a year! How much worse could he get?! I honestly don't want to know.

But then his eyes morphed into smoldering depths, and his voice warped into that of some fierce yet fond voice, almost furious in its ferocity; "…but I shall remedy that soon, love." These words completely terrified me. I hadn't been this scared of him since he caught me outside alone.

Erik must have noticed the fear on my face and did a complete one eighty into an overbearing and "loving caregiver". He carried me to my room, set out some fluffy pajamas, and had some hot cocoa and marshmallow cookies waiting for me when I was changed after my shower. He then carried me to bed and sat me down in his lap with his arms around me and his back against the headboard before handing me a mug and some of the cookies.

I internally grumbled at being disgustingly coddled like a toddler and tried to enjoy my treats as he softly spun a fairy tale about a young, kind, and beautiful princess whom had gone missing after a witch's curse. The king treasured his daughter above all of his riches and offered his entire fortune and kingdom to whomever could find her. After some months, all of those that gathered from the corners of the world had given up in vain until an ugly musician returned the princess to the king. He had found her in a fit of instrumental inspiration, and discovered that she had been changed into a song.

The king was overjoyed and offered the man the rewards, but the musician refused and instead demanded the princess's hand in marriage as payment. The king was surprised and hesitant to hand over his prized daughter and especially to such an unsightly individual, but the princess broke her silence and told her father about how gentle and kind the musician was to her, about how they practiced music together and fell deeply in love, transforming her back to her original form. The musician was overwhelmed with her declaration and fell his knees before her in tears and apologized for trying to demand marriage from her, that he just couldn't fathom losing her and that he was sorry for being so hideous; and the princess told him that he is the most handsome man in the world. Before the princess can continue, the emotionally moved king brought the musician up and declared him his heir and son in law and the couple was married before the entire kingdom and all of those that traveled in from neighboring lands to take part in the festivities. They brought compassion and prosperity to the kingdom, and lived long, loving, and melodic lives together.

Throughout his story my breathing slows and my eyelids droop, and I can feel Erik take my mug and unfinished cookies and put them on the nightstand besides us. By the end I am barely able to stay awake and am almost certain the reason I wasn't forced to brush my teeth before bed was because my drink was laced with something. He must have gotten sick of sitting in the armchair watching me all night, so he must have plotted to force me into falling asleep in his arms. Ick. The nerve.

My suspicions are confirmed when he draws the blanket around us, turns off the light, holds me close and croons "I am sorry my angel, sleep peacefully and dream of me; all shall be well soon". I want to resist but I can barely even move the tip of my pinkie finger at that point, so I fall asleep against his chest and swear to escape into a land of dreams that is free from his clutches.

"I love you"


	2. Chapter 2

' _First.'_

' _OMG, Luv it!'_

' _Your videos always make me smile'_

' _Ok singing, looks like it was filmed with a potato though'_

' _Looks like 2003 girl, buy a camera'_

' _This is my song! Thank you for doing this!'_

' _Cringe'_

' _i lyke ur vedio'_

' _sub 2 me and I'll sub back'_

These were some of the comments on my latest video. It had only been three weeks since I had made my channel and this was the most successful video so far. Yeah, some of the comments were a bit rude or dumb, but enough of them were very encouraging; and I was just beyond thankful for the publicity. I always loved singing, especially with my church's choir but junior year of high school had been super busy with friends, SAT's, college research, learning to drive, and just all of the craziness that being 16 brings that I didn't have the time to sing very often. I had complained about it to my close friend Meggie and she had suggested that I make myself a YouTube channel. I could spend about an hour a week covering a song and sloppily editing it before posting it up, continuing my participation in my favorite craft and maybe even gaining a music loving crowd. My new channel now had three videos, a selfie as a profile pic, and a bunch of musical notes with an inspirational quote as the banner.

Though I didn't really mind the negative comments, I knew they were right about the visual quality of the videos I had posted so far. I did not have my own camera so I was using the webcam and speakers of my old laptop to record videos in my bedroom, and using the default video and picture editing program that the computer came with. While I cared more about the enjoyment of singing than the views, I wanted to give people at least basic quality content.

With that in mind I decided to use the rest of my leftover birthday and allowance money to try to find myself a cheap camera online, obtaining a new editing software could be postponed for a while. Unfortunately, I couldn't find one that I liked in my price range that was new so I opted to search for a used one. After a few more moments of searching I stumbled upon a camera that fit all of the basic qualifications I needed and was listed at a reasonable price; and the pictures even showed it was in a good condition! Squeeeee! Ok Christine, calm down girl.

I decided to message the email address left by the seller expressing my interest and asking basic questions about shipping, payments, and all of that biz. I knew that they would probably not respond right away so I decided to make myself something to eat and maybe even get some studying in for the upcoming test on Monday. I didn't have fantastic grades but they were pretty decent due to studying a lot, God knows I'm not a natural wiz like some of my friends; I wish I could just magically poof all of the information into my head like they seem to do!

After some hesitance I untangled myself from the warm bundle of blankets that I had huddled into and made my way downstairs to get to the kitchen. Normally I don't need to make myself anything to eat or snack on but it was a Friday night so my parents had taken my little brother to his hockey game. I was not expected to go because Friday night is one of the few times of the week that I get free time to myself, and I hate how cold the rink is, brrrrrrr. I could shiver just thinking about it, I have never really been built for the cold.

I made myself a basic turkey and cheese sandwich with toasted bread, as is my personal preference, some strawberries, a small bag of chips, and a tall glass of ice water. I carefully carried my freshly procured goodies upstairs and used my foot to open my door, and plopped my lazy behind into my blanket nest. I pulled out my schoolbook and flipped it to the chapters we covered for the week and started crunchily eating my food and rereading the content until I dropped a half-eaten strawberry in surprise when an email notification beeped loudly from my laptop.

I quickly put my food and drink aside and shoved my book away as I scrambled closer to my computer and opened up my email tab. Quickly scanning past the spam mail from colleges and advertisers; I found and opened the email from the person with the camera I desperately wanted. They responded positively to my interest in their ad and gave me an online method to pay them, details on the shipping and handling, and told me that if the product did not meet my specifications that I would have a three-day window to return the camera and receive a refund. I was so ecstatic that I emailed them back my confirmation of purchase and set up the payment plan right away, but included a sincere thanks and gratitude towards them. I told them that I was very happy to be able to buy this camera, and that I needed it to improve my musical YouTube channel's quality.

They did not email me back right away so I pulled my remaining food back out and finished it off like the hungry wolverine that I am. I was going to go downstairs to wash and put away my dishes when I got another ding from my computer. I expected it to just be a formal report of when I should expect to receive my camera, and it was… that is until I read the rest.

"… _also, you are very welcome, and I express my gratitude in having such a friendly and reliable customer. I must admit that I am an apt fan of the arts, and am especially fond of budding non-commercialized talent. Would it be allowable that I know your YouTube channel so I may view it?"_

While surprised by this response I was impressed with their way with words and flattered by their interest in my channel so I responded.

" _Yeah, sure thing_ _My channel is 'LittleLottie226', and thank you for your interest! I must warn you though that I am not very talented and a total amateur at video making. Anyways, I hope you like it!"_

Another ding later…

" _I look forward to viewing your work, I am sure it shall hold at least some merit. Maybe I can even offer some constructive criticism? Until then expect the camera soon and new viewer"_

After some waiting there were no more notifications, so I knew that was their goodbye and closed my laptop with a joyful and fluttering feeling inside. I went downstairs to wash and put away my dishes, then went back to my bedroom to continue studying my textbook until my tiredness propelled me to push it away and get ready for bed.

All snuggled up in my comforter with my polka dot pajamas and minty breath, I closed my eyes with a warm feeling and excitement to work on my next video. I didn't know that my actions that night were to be the catalyst for the hell that was to become my life.


	3. Chapter 3

How could I have been so freaking stupid? So trusting of a stranger? Was it my childish naivety? Maybe it was my own flattered ego blinding my judgement combined with my family's trust in their typically well rounded and level headed daughter. Maybe it was a little a bit of everything and some; but I honestly think it was just a teenage girl craving a little excitement and rest from her beloved but exhausting life while enjoying being in the spotlight for a bit. I had never really been ignored by anyone; but I had never been the focus of attention due to my demure personality. I know that this is normal for many people, especially girls of my age, but it's not normal for this mild craving to be noticed a bit more to lead to an eternal imprisonment with a total psychopath.

With _him_ I learned even more just how damn good I had it before he entered my life, that I would rather take a lifetime of solitary confinement than to be subject to his unwavering "affections" forever. With him I am his entire world, everything else doesn't matter. I used to think that the only thing that could give me reprieve from Erik was music, that it was his true passion and could give me a break. I was wrong. Dead wrong. Again.

I had been laying back on the settee in one of the music rooms with some ginger tea and nibbling on some honeydew candies after another vocal lesson. I tried to relax my throat and mind as I listened to him play a soft and "romantic" piece for me on the piano. This was the only time that I could remotely relax around him, his attention was off of me and I could just enjoy his masterful playing and could just pretend he was a normal man either performing for an audience or just a regular person in love. I could try to forget the necks that have been broken by his long hands as the skeletal fingers effortlessly glided along the keys, pressing upon each one fluidly and reverently. Maybe this time I could try something new… if I closed my eyes I could try to pretend that he was R…

The flirtatious melody was cast away with a sudden shift to a more severe and passionate piece, marked by a ferocious pace and deep chords. It pulled me from my temporary and peaceful escape with a gasp, and held me in its unyielding sphere of influence. I could not help myself but to look upon the source and was shocked to find myself met with the unwavering stare of my captor. His eyes had always been such a raw display of the soul, and often the reason for the terror in my heart; but this was something else entirely. He became the music, no, he was the music. He held such a chaotic, obsessive, hungry, furious, possessive, and just overall fiery gaze upon me. He did all of this without a single fault upon the keys nor a twitch away from me.

Why was he doing this? I had never heard him play something such as this before, never saw him as anything less than completely immersed in his work, and I had surely never felt so controlled by his music before. What had I done to set him off like this? Why couldn't I get myself to look away from him?

My heartbeat was racing along with the increasing tempo; my body, mind, and soul were being played through his manipulative expertise. My chest was rapidly expanding and compressing as my breaths built up with the music until I was facing a precipice that absolutely terrified me. His eyes continued to bore into mine with an increasing eagerness as he played with climbing vigor, pushing me over the edge and into a crescendo of flames. I was burning with all of his emotions that he had cast upon me as if I was a virgin sacrifice set upon a pyre. Among these I could sense myself becoming a victim against a possessively perverse feeling that he had towards me. I knew that he was obsessed with me, thought himself in love with me, but I had tried to persuade myself that he did not feel lust for me; oh how that had been in vain.

Past this new burden I found the inner sphere of influence, it was the most powerful of all yet seemed the purest; but before I could identify it the spell held upon me gradually died down until I was left flushed and gasping against the settee with my cup of tea and the tiny candies spilt onto the ornate rug besides me. I was mentally scrambling to return to myself after such an ordeal that I paid no notice to him rising towards me until my chin was moved up in his firm grasp.

"You. Will. Not. Ignore. Me." Erik intoned with equally disturbed and frenzied breathes.

He wrapped an arm around my torso and moved his other hand from my face to delve deep within my curls possessively, pulling us closer until the nose of his mask brushes against my cheek. His hypnotizing eyes were so full of dominance, longing, desperation, adoration, and pain.

"Stop trying to dream of him! Of things that aren't and cannot be! Forget your boy, forget your family, your friends, forget everything but me! Damn you for making a demon love you and now the beast cannot be sated, you shall spend eternity in hades. Just love me and I will be your slave, a pathetic dog!"

He had done this because I was trying to think about my boyfriend?! This was him trying to establish control, of course, gosh darn possessive, insecure piece of… Wait a minute… how did he know what or whom I was thinking of?!

"How did you…"

"I notice everything about you love, and why else would you close your eyes and wrinkle your pretty little brow unless you were trying to think of him? Clearly not anyone else, the romantic atmosphere that I created would not have allowed that, and even someone of my insanity can realize that you do not love me. Not _yet_ anyways."

He was going down that route again. Ugh.

"Erik please stop… I was just…"

He positioned me so he could hold me tightly to his chest while positioning his mouth at my ear.

"How your Erik adores it when you so sweetly say his horrid name' he groaned lowly and shivered in delight, "if only you would love only him" he finished miserably.

I was so annoyed at this. Who was he to stalk, kidnap, control, and do other things to me and then demand that I notice and love only him?! I hate him and will always be looking to escape! And not just that…

"but it's not like you love only me."

Oh my god.

Oh.

My.

Freaking.

God.

I said that out loud.

And now I was back on the settee with his arms curled around my waist and his face sobbing into my stomach.

"How could…Erik is trash. Erik makes his Christine feel unloved! Erik is sorry! Erik is rotten, oh Christine please forgive your poor unhappy Erik. He didn't…. he loves only you!"

He just kept going and going on and on and on while I awkwardly petted at his head and tried to soothe him. He suddenly cooled down and looked up at me with a calculative curiosity.

"Why would you say such a thing my dear? Who else has Erik ever loved?"

I guess I had no choice at this point.

"Your music Erik, please I didn't mean it like that; it's normal for people to lo…"

He slunk back to his knees before me and took my hands in his. Kissing them slowly and reverently, holding his lips to them as he looked submissively up to me. Submissive was an illusion of course, like I could ever dominate someone like him.

"My music means nothing to me without you, it kept me alive until your perfection saved me. Now it exists so I may show my angel that she is all that was, is, and will ever be. It is all he can offer".

It was so freaking awkward. I mean, how would you feel if you were someone's entire world? That's quite a burden, and add to the fact that I am therefore responsible for everything he feels and does. I could destroy the actual world if I made a wrong move!

I fear that he is starting to awaken beneath me, his chest wasn't a very good pillow but I couldn't move away even when the drug's affects had worn off of me. Even in dreamland he holds onto me as if I am a lifeline. At least I had some time to reflect in thought for a while, even if he was still physically there. But how will I survive the days if there is not even an escape in music?

Ugh. Hopefully I'll have time to think about things later. Great, now he's moving. Ewww. I think he kissed my head!

"Good morning my angel, though I am destined for hell I thought I had awoken in heaven. But this surpasses such a place, let's get you ready and fed little one".


	4. Chapter 4

I would suck a hobo's toenail for some fruity pebbles right about now. I never thought I'd be sick of freshly prepared gourmet food, assembled by some of the finest chefs that Erik's blood money can buy. Well…I can safely assume it was the blood money…he does have other financially invested avenues but killing people and selling stuff he made to other people so they can kill people really does pay for the essentials like electricity and thirteen custom made hot tubs. But seriously, could I just have some cheaply made mass marketed sugar bomb or artificial colors and flavors instead of omelets, English breakfasts, crepes, Belgian waffles, and all that jazz?

He wouldn't allow that though; it would be too "common" for his tastes. Mr. High and Mighty thinks that we have to have the best of everything, and his money provides all of the options. Well, almost all of them, he still thinks that some things are not to his standards. There are also some things that he knows that he cannot buy no matter how much money he desperately piles up…and even more destructive to his mind, he cannot buy certain people or how they feel about things or about him.

"You have not eaten angel, is something not to your liking?"

I guess I had been poking around my cinnamon polenta pancakes too long for his liking. And yes, I know that the dish itself is pretty specific; but that's my point. Everything is so over the top and controlled here! Ugh, now I have a worried and frantic looking Erik to deal with; and the guilt of a dead employee if I don't assure him that the food is super-duper and absolutely perfect in every way. Because if I don't, he is going to start freaking out and acting like I'm dying and not being taken care of properly.

"Sorry Erik, I guess I kinda just spaced out; these pancakes are pretty good though. Sorry for going space cadet…heh…" There, that was honestish and awkward enough to seem legit. To be thorough, I quickly shovel some bites of spongy pancakes into my mouth hole and wash it down with some of the fresh milk besides my plate, probably blushing as I duck away from his piercing gaze.

I almost drop the glass when my free hand is incased in his from across the table. Please don't let him see through me or start acting weird, we aren't even halfway through the day yet and I just can't deal right now.

"No need to be bashful my dear, though the rose tinting of your face is simply lovely.' He starts to rub his thumb on my hand in what I assume is meant to be a comforting action, but it just makes me tense up and internally cringe. "I could always feed you if your thoughts and daydreams prevent or postpone you eating, we would not wish for you to become malnourished now would we darling? Or perhaps you could share the contents of that pretty little head with Erik, maybe it could be therapeutic for you."

How can he say such disturbing things like most people talk about a kitten video or the weather, all normal and adoring a biz? Like who's man is this?! And why does he think I would every trying to make myself sickly by not eating, I'm not over exaggerating, he has said stuff like that before. When he first brought me to this place I didn't have much of an appetite and he freaked out and had a full tantrum because he thought I was trying to escape him by committing suicide through starvation or something. I may be miserable but even without the promise that the world would suffer beginning with my friends and family, I would never commit suicide and especially not with a slow and painful method like that! I'm lucky that for some reason I can't gain weight, except for it causing some other girls to physically and mentally bully me, because I love food like way too much. I can eat two family sized bags of chips as a snack! I just don't like eating around psycho people that kidnap me and take away all of the dreams and people I had. I also don't appreciate having every bite I take being controlled and monitored, and I can't stop that but holy hell if he thinks I'll let his boney butt feed me like I am some slobbery toddler!

Hiding my annoyance and anger at him I gently put my mostly empty glass of milk down and meet his gaze while forcing myself to speak soft and gentle. "Oh no Erik, I am quite capable of feeding myself. I thank you for the offer though, and my thoughts weren't very interesting…I just don't want to ever offend you or make you feel burdened because of them. But I promise that I won't let them absorb my attention until I finish my meals." And now my hand is being held tightly, great. He narrows his creepy eyes at me too.

"You could never offend or burden me Christine by confiding in me, on the contrary actually. It would relieve Erik's tension if his love would speak her mind to him, now what were you thinking about. I won't ask again."

I hate this guy. "I um…well…uh… I know you spend a lot of money and stuff on me and everything I just. Well, I just don't really need all of the fancy and expensive stuff. I appreciate what you are trying to do, but I miss things like grocery store cereals and oversized hoodies…please don't be mad."

He's not moving or saying anything. This could go either way; I hope it actually goes my way for once. But that's not likely to happen.

"I am going to have to spell it out for you aren't I?' I don't dare to respond. "Everything I have done, or do, or will do; is for your own good. I seek only to provide the best for you for two reasons. The first, is that you are my perfect angel and I love you and shall take care of you forever, and the second is that I am everything but the best darling, so I must try to alleviate the horrors that I bring to one so pure and innocent as yourself by giving all that I have."

His face relaxes into an adoring smile. "Though I can indulge in your tastes by having the kitchens prepare you some cereal, made by them of course, and some of my casual shirts for you to wear to bed". He's smiling at me like he has offered a kid a trip to Disneyland, and that I should be super excited about him "indulging" me. This is the best case scenario that I could expect from him I guess, and at least I can have some sort of cereal; even if it is still some sort of high end kind. I do not look forward to wearing one of _his_ shirts tonight, but I have to hide my shudder of horror and take another big bite of my food.

After forcing myself to swallow I squeeze his cold hand and look him in the eyes with an attempt as a grateful smile. "Thank you Erik". His answering glee makes me want puke and it's all I can do to finish my breakfast.


	5. Chapter 5

"It just doesn't feel like the end of the year, ya know? Like…it feels like it went too fast…"

"Except when we're in class right?" I asked with my eyebrow raised playfully and biz.

Meggy playfully pouted and huffed some of her fluffy blond hair at me from her vantage point on her bed. I don't wanna be mean but I had trouble figuring out it was a bed until she "cleaned", threw bundles of trash and clothes into her already overstuffed closet, her room; my room is pretty messy but this just surpasses everything. I like it this way though, it's how my best friend kept it. And she was a pretty busy gal like me, arguably more so.

"Will you pretty pretty pleeeeasssssse let me do your makeup for tonight? I won't poke your eye, and I got the perfectly pale foundation for you!".

"Well…'

I wanted to resist. I really and truly did. Not because any aversion to cosmetics, I have way too many beauty products; but because I always either ended up unfinished, hurt, or looking like a clown due to my friend's hyperactive nature. But Meggy had wanted to do my makeup for a long time, this was a special occasion, Mrs. Giry had a first aid kit in the bathroom, truly pale foundation is really pricey and hard to find, annnnnd she was using the trademark pouty puppy face.

'I guess it could be fun, and we have to get ready for the party. Do it by the first aid kit and let's do this." She jumped at me in a hug from her loft bed, dancer legs must have made her into a ninja or something. And off to the bathroom we went to get primped and ready for the New Year's eve party tonight.

Meggy had somehow gotten her parents to let her host it, and a lot of our friends, classmates, and people from our clubs and stuff were going to be there. Meggy's parents were going to be next door, we had tons of food, were going to order a lot of pizza, had some sparklers, hats, decorations, games, you get the picture; it was gunna be a blast. Meggy was obsessed with getting a New Year's kiss when the ball dropped on TV in Time's Square, she even had a ranked list with pictures and stats of the guys attending that she wanted to share it with. I think I even saw a couple of football style game plans and time charts. She may have been energetic and weird, but the girl was very smart and thorough in getting what she wanted. I on the other hand just wanted to relax and have fun with everyone, hopefully not embarrassing myself or falling asleep before midnight.

A few hours or somewhat fun torture and we are all primped, dressed, and ready to party. I'm actually surprised that Meggy was able to almost properly do my hair and makeup, I bet I would not even have any bruising on my face or a dried blood in my scalp in the morning. I was even dressing uuuuber "sexy" with a sparkly blue turtleneck sweater, a grey pair of leggings, and some fuzzy boots that I got for Christmas; I'm lame I know. At least I was getting out of the house and was away from the classroom and stuff for a while.

Meggy's parents gave us the usual parental rundown of rules, regulations, phone numbers, and theoretical consequences to hypothetical actions before hugging us and departing to their adult party of booze and tacky adornments. We made sure that everything was set out, the music and television were ready, and checked out appearances a few more times while we waited for the first of the guests were to arrive.

The ring of the doorbell signified the first of the party peeps to arrive and Meggy flounced off to answer it as I shyly trailed behind while popping a few little pretzels into my mouth to crunch on. I quickly dropped the rest of them onto the floor in my rush to run into a side hug with Raoul.

"I can't believe you're here!"

And I couldn't.

Raoul had been a close friend ever since we met as kids at summer camp. I had dropped my red goggles in the murky waters of the lake while fiddling with them on the dock. I had burst into tears because they were an expensive new pair that my parents had given to me after I had promised my dad that I would be super careful not to lose or break. I knew I wouldn't be able to reach the bottom with my little body and weak lungs, let alone find the rubber aqua glasses in a cold murky darkness full of drifting water and dirt particles. Imagine my surprise when a blonde boy a few years older than me dashed by the comforting camp counselor to cannon ball into the water and pop up a short time later with my goggles in his victorious fist. We became camp pals and after our parents happily informed us that we live in the same area inseparable. Unfortunately, Raoul, his cool older brother, and his lovely parents had to move to care for his mom's elderly parents back in Quebec. My parents had been upset since they had befriended Mr. and Mrs. DeChagney, and my little brother had been upset he would lose his video game buddy. We still kept touch through email and skype, but I didn't entertain the idea that I would see him often if ever…until now of course.

"Hey Lottie, what's up girl?" Raoul happily and slightly shakenly asked me. He had called me Lottie ever since he won a scratch lottery ticket for a few hundred dollars; I had sent it to him in a birthday card along with a couple of other gifts. He had been skyping me while he opened his gifts and had been happy, though he had been slightly disgruntled when his parents made him put it into his college fund though.

"How did you get here?!"

"Well Phil got accepted to the local university and…"

"And our parents thought it'd be best if we didn't spend our youth wiping old butts" responded an older and buffer Phil with a goofy grin.

"Yeah…" responded Raoul sheepishly. He started blushing down at me.

I forgot to let go. Oops. I quickly did so. Casually of course. Heh.

"But how did you know about the party?"

"Meggy"

"Meggy?" I look towards her with slight confusion and mostly gratefulness.

She looks like she was bubbling with excitement, hands clasped together in bountiful energy and looking like she had to hold her tongue for the initial conversation.

More cars pull up and the happy chattering of new arrivals drifts over through the open doorway.

"I'll explain everything when we're closer to the food and stuff! Come on and let's have fun!"

So it was a few hours into the party and completely full of junk food and soda pop, I finally knew everything. My parents had gotten a call from Raoul's parents, they knew that his grandparents were going to pass that year and didn't want him to be exposed to the painful ordeal or have his high school years overshadowed with their responsibilities. They wanted him to have a close group of friends and responsible adults and Phillip had happened to get accepted into the prestigious and large university in the area, so they paid for them to have apartment housing and enrolled Raoul in my high school. They asked if my parents would keep an eye on their boys and hopefully reconnect them with me so they could have a close group of friends, mainly Raoul since Phillip already reconnected with his friends. My parents had enthusiastically agreed and had called Meg's parents and explained the situation, and after checking with Meg they were completely happy and welcome to invite them to the New Year's Eve Party. Raoul had somehow able to fight his over honest nature and kept the secret from me in our skype chats, which we wouldn't need any more since we could see each other almost every day now.

We spent the whole night playing games, such as a funny game of twister in which Meg and her dancer friends utterly crushed everyone else, and eating food while socializing with everyone and catching up a bit. We didn't have too much to catch up on since we corresponded online very often, but there were a few things such as what we had to talk about like our winter breaks. He had been on a skiing trip near his home and didn't have much time or internet connection to chat during that time, he told me about all of the cool stuff that he got to do and about how someone had gotten their tongue stuck to their metal thermos. I told him about the church's Christmas choir show, the mountains of work I got from school, the presents I got, and my YouTube channel's progress.

"Wait, so one of your fans sent you a gift? Like fan mail?"

"Yeah, I was pretty surprised actually since I'm still a pretty small channel."

"But you're growing! And you're in the thousands now, that's pretty impressive. I wish I had talent, I would probably make a gaming video or...' He burped loudly and grinned "burp the alphabet."

I playfully shoved him while laughing "Ewwww! You're so gross!"

We were both laughing at this point. It took a few minutes until we are capable of speech again. I was leaning on Raoul's shoulder for support.

"So what did you get?"

"Hmm?"

"What did the adoring fans send?"

"Oh just…"

"Just the coolest recording stuff ever!' Interjected Rosie. "We check online and it's worth like ten grand!"

"Woah!"

"I know right!"

"Oh come on guys, it's not that big of…"

"That is a big deal Lottie, someone really likes you. It's cool and all but you should be careful."

"I know, I know; I tried to return it but there was no name or return address. My parents said to just keep it at that point."

"That's weird…" he looked unnerved now.

"I…"

"Guys! It's time for cake!" Exclaimed Meggy, and everyone stampeded to the kitchen to further the sugar high. Raoul looked at me oddly every now and then behind a large slice of the dessert.

I tried to push my own concerns about the matter back within my mind and enjoy the rest of the night.

Eventually we were all sprawled lazily in front of the big plasma screen TV, nursing our food babies and watching boy bands and pop starts perform enthusiastically in oddball outfits.

After the last notes carry out, the cameras returned to Times Square and the countdown for the ball drop popped up. We all managed to prop ourselves up and enthusiastically yell out the lowering numbers. Soon we got to the final ten.

"Ten! Nine! Eight!"

Meggy slinked off with mischievous and calculating eyes.

"Seven! Six!"

People were starting to stand up.

"Five! Four!"

I sat up and put my bowl of chips and pastries down.

"Three! Two!"

I looked up to the TV dreaming about all of the good things that the New Year could bring.

"One! Happy New Year!"

Everyone erupts into cheers, whoops, and hollers. The ball drops, and the people on TV are going insane as well, and I can hear fireworks and noise makers going off. The living room is a mess and I turn my head to look for Meggy, I only briefly see her making out with the most popular guy in school when the back of my head is gripped and I my face was pushed into a pair of soft lips.

I gasped softly and the kiss is deepened slightly and then finished once I pushed slightly against a broad chest. We pulled back and all I could see was Raoul's sheepish grin and electrified blue eyes. Everything else around us dimmed into the background.

"Happy New Year Lottie" he softly told me, holding me like I am the most important thing in the world.

Happy New Year indeed.


	6. Chapter 6

"How can you love me? How could you understand that you need me? Without me, your potential would be locked away, fluttering within like the wings of a sparrow. There is no way to escape my darling, my dearest… please do not ignore me!'

He's doing it again. I was able to pretend that I had drank the bed time tea that he had given me in order to ensure my safety and to possibly catch some more of his mad ramblings and raves. Why? Well it surely sucks to listen to but sometimes he gives important information… information that I can possibly use one day to escape. When he holds me at night, it is one of the few times that he is really honest… well as honest as he can be I assume. For such a crazy dude he must hold in most of his thoughts and feelings until I am asleep. It's not like he can really let them out now that he is around me pretty much twenty-four seven. But it works for me because it dulls his usually exemplary senses so that he does not notice that I am faking being asleep. Thank goodness I have lots of experience from conveniently falling asleep during late night truth or dare sessions at sleepovers. I could probably even risk opening my eyes this time due to how upset he seems to be. It's because I have been ignoring him since…

'I am sorry! Erik is sorry! He won't … he cannot… this burden of silence. Not anymore. Not when he has drunk from the forbidden well, when he has been captivated by the melodic words which you bestow upon such an old dog. I will beg Christine; I will grovel before you. I would crawl the earth for your attention! Just for you to acknowledge me like a putrid fly, a sideways glance even. I know you are angry with Erik. I know you hate him for taking you away, but why can't you see?! The world… no… fate. Destiny has robbed myself of your existence before our serendipity and the world would have and still does seek to collect you from my grasp. My protective embrace. Let my guidance cradle you. Let me keep you for myself so that no one may ever steal you away… oh my darling … you sigh so prettily in your slumber. Do you dream my dearest? Of music? Of… me? No. It must be your _damn boy_. Forget him!'

Ow! Gosh his freaking skelestick fingers hurt like heck. He gets so tense when my boyfriend comes up. Well… ex-boyfriend if he has moved on by now. I would not blame him honestly, it's not his fault that I am here and that I disappeared like pale skin in August. I miss him and still love him, but love means wanting the other person to be happy and healthy. And if moving on does that for him then so be it, if only Erik could understand that loving someone means giving them freedom…

'His perfectly sculpted nose cannot provide for you like I can! He only has a pittance of wealth compared to me and he is too infatuated with societal ideals to worship you like Erik does. Erik does anything for you… things you will never know of. He will ensure that the world he has created for you will never be stained with his filthy realities. He should have bought you that hat you admired some time ago. A quick glance of the eyes is very telling precious… those magazines were an excellent investment of mine. But you would try and refuse my gift once again! Christine is such a humble and shy little songbird, quite a selfless angel indeed. But doting upon my love is pure heaven and so she shall prettily blush and duck her head among boxes and bags of items and trinkets tomorrow morn… may I hold you closer. Ahhh… Yes. I shall also purchase some more rose scented products for your baths, it is quite pleasing to myself…"

Can't I just be born with webbed feet or something? Why do I have to deal with this creepy mothertrucker?! And if he is going to get all of this bull crap for me, why can't I have some bargain bin T-shirts?! I tried to get through to him before, and now I sleep in some of _his_ clothes. Twitch Twitch, shudder shudder. Annnnnd now he's rocking back and forth, mumbling some incoherent crap. Ughhhhh. Maybe I should have just taken his stupid super spy version of roofies. At least then I could dream about flying spiders with laser webs or at least conk out for the perfectly stamped out slot of time that adheres to the healthy standard for a girl my age. Finding THAT timesheet on his desk was just greaaat.

But anyways. Now that I have this bony rocking chair dude crying a biz. I might as well talk about what made me decide to ignore him. I had been sitting in a plush chair in Erik's office during his work hours. I was minding my own business with a kind of bland book when a breeze from an open window has rustled some papers from his desk and to my expensively adorned feet. This would not have happened if I had not looked at the birds and flowers outside longingly. Erik wanted to appease me by letting my smell the Spring time and hear the chirpings and callings of frisky birds since we could not stroll outside until he finished his paper work, and he was still uneasy about me going out of the "house". But anywhoooo… these papers had some standard business jargon that I had no hope of understanding but with a few _interesting_ things scattered among them. There were papers with information about myself. There was a diet plan, school records, just some of the personal things that he had stolen from my privacy. Yes. One of them was the sleep chart thingy.

The most unsettling of them all and the one that makes me wants to just rip my skin off and die was…. a set of body measurements. This would normally be creepy and somewhat expected of Erik since he loves to buy me so much pricey junk. But this was a set of specifications for a WEDDING DRESS! I about passed out and I would have if Erik had not swooped in somewhat unsettled to scoop up and suffle the papers back into their proper places and organizers.

"Erik is most sorry my dear. Please do not let his clumsiness disturb your readings. He… I will be done shortly and we can provide you with some vitamin D."

His ears were pink. He was flustered. He was worried.

He would be more worried.

So much more.

If he meant to steal the last of my ownership with marriage. Then I would steal back the gift of my voice.

…he plans to marry me… and I doubt I can stop him. For whatever Erik wants Erik gets. But I can try to challenge that.

Or die trying. Maybe then I can ask god what the frickles is going on in his plans.


	7. Chapter 7

**You have been testing my patience Miss Daae. A multitude of warnings have been ignored, despite my contributions towards your pursuits. Do not seek the boy any longer or it shall end in dire consequences.**

This is what greeted me and my frizzy morning hair as my phone alerted me to another incoming text. I wish I could just block them, but new ones just pop up and I cannot seem to trace them at all. This was fucking scary now, and despite the different numbers I knew _who_ this message was from. What had been an online fan giving me advice had turned into something so much more toxic. After having dealt with the suspicion and eventual realization that I had been dating someone causing my tutor to freak the fudge out, I was not ready for another tantrum. After New Year's I had gotten closer to _him_ very quickly and had become much more effective at my craft because of it. My subscriber count had increased into the triple digits within one month and I had been offered sponsorships for products, though I was forced to let him handle the business side of things. My parents and brother were so happy for me, especially when my fan mail and checks would come in. I felt bad for making them think I did all of the work, but their lives had been threatened as the theoretical cost of telling them the truth.

While I had become closer with my instructor and had forged a friendship with him, I formed a deep-seated fear as well. It was clear that he was severely possessive of me, like I was his singing doll. He had forbidden me from forming any romantic bonds when I had off handedly complimented a popular and handsome actor during one of our lessons. I have no idea how I was able to hide the fact that Raoul was my boyfriend so long, I think it was because he was busy with finding my new channel sponsors and preparing for my abduction to this rich hell hole. This text had been the worst of them all, even worse than the warnings he had given during the one-sided video conversations he would have. Oh, but what a _voice_ did that evil bastard possess, it is probably a big reason why I was so dependent upon him. But how could I leave my boyfriend and close family friend for no fault of his own on _Valentines Day_ for crying out loud?! I would have to do it soon to keep him safe, I did not know if the police could help me with how secretive and elusive my tutor was. And he did train me after all…

"Honey! Raoul's mother just called, he is picking you up in a few hours." My mom's voice carried sweetly through the door.

A few hours?! I guess I have been staying up late rehearsing and recording… plus my mind tends to race and make the clock chug ahead without me noticing. I jumped up and rushed to get ready with my perfectly coordinated and fashionable holiday outfit of romance! I hoped that he would like the gifts that I got for him…

"I love it!" He had his beautiful blue eyes pressed so close for inspection of the model ship I had gotten for his collection. Raoul always had an affinity for the sea and sailing, taking part in the past time with his father and brother during the summers. I knew when I had came upon it at the antique shops downtown that it would be perfect for his collection, I just hope Phil would not mind me contributing to the messy state of my boyfriend's bedroom.

"Well I love my chocolate roses and cuddly bear!' I snuggled the giant pink plush toy to myself 'I think I shall name him Mr. Fuzzy Buttons and make him my new boyfriend because I love him so much!" I declared joyfully.

"OK.' He did an exaggeration of be appalled with his face scrunched up and his hand on his chest 'I see how it is babe, just leaving me for a teddy bear like that"

I couldn't help but giggle at his antics. I leaned in with Mr. Fuzzy Buttons in my embrace and gave my childish beau a kiss, leaning back with a smile as residue of my pink lip gloss was left on his lips. "You're my real snuggle toy baby" I said with an extremely ooy gooey voice.

He snapped back to normal Raoul at that. "Please never ever use that voice again' he said semi seriously since he got a kiss out of it. 'but as your true snuggle toy I must provide you with good foodzzz and beverages". I sure liked the sound of that and we continued our merriment as we put our gifts to one another on my family's couch and left to make our dinner reservation. Raoul had used some of the allowance that his parents gave him in order to book us a table as a pretty ritzy and hipster like joint nearby, but I could not let him pay for everything so…

"But don't forget I'm getting dessert" I kissed his jawline with a twinkle in my eye as I leaned into him as we walked. He had his arm around me to try to keep me warm despite the increasing coldness seeping in. How unfortunate that Valentine's day must be within the brutality of the winter months. But maybe such dead and frosty season needed the warmth of love, even as we would be dining on customized sundaes at the ice cream shop a few stores down from the restaurant. I had decided to use some of my internet celebrity money for it because the ice creams were authentically made there, and I wanted us to be able to get every kind and with all of the assortments of toppings. They even had taffy balls and cotton candy popcorn as options…

Sorry, I got distracted in my remembrance of that amazing ice cream. _He_ does not have it in the kitchens here and I am too afraid to ask for it. I do not want a repeat of the breakfast incident and I don't want him to think I owe him anything. But back to my horribly twisted life story I guess…

The journey of a few blocks from my home, since we did not have rides or a license to drive yet, felt even shorter due to the fun and love-sick exchange of words given between us. It was so amazing to be able to date one of my best friends since we could be close in all ways, and not just romantic. The setting sun of the dark winter set the scene aglow as lights and sounds of the cupid driven crowd poured through the windows and doorway of the establishment. Guiding me through the crowd, Raoul was ever the gentleman as he opened the door for me and helped me with my winter trappings and seat once we were led to our cozy table by the city lights.

Nothing could have ruined this night for me. There were couples eagerly chatting around the warm lit room, with decorations everywhere. Soft and enchanting music was being played over the speakers, and the food was to die for! Not to mention my very attractive boyfriend kept making me melt with the warmth of his smile yet making me choke from the humor he inflicted upon me. However, we never got to go get our amazing ice cream. For when Raoul presented me with a ruby rose promise ring and a declaration of our mutual youthful love and a reminder of our past, my phone blared at me…

 **Your chains are still mine, you belong to ME!**

I did not get to register this message because my heart stopped as the electricity of the restaurant and everyone was startled into confusion. Then we were all running out as the building began to catch aflame from the far end of the room. We were all left outside, freezing our asses off. It seemed that we were all safe and ok until I realize that the warm hand that had been gripping mine on the way out was no longer there. Fuck!

I couldn't breathe I was so scared. The cold as fuck winds of February whipped through my thin pink hearted leggings. I'm happy I didn't piss myself, not because it is a smelly and unsanitary thing, but that it would freeze my thighs together. I clutched my shaking hands to my chest, gasping deeply as a rapid rate. As clouds of whitened breath shook out of me, I feared for Raoul's life. I waited for my boyfriend anxiously, just hoping that he would return alive and in one piece. I really hoped that _he_ would not hurt him just because he was a freaking selfish control addict. I knew that his actions were his fault, but I could not help but blame myself. He had warned me, told me explicitly not to see Raoul anymore. Hell, he did not want me to see anyone anymore. Not even my platonic relationships such as Meggy or even my family.

"..Please….please…don't take him from me…I..fuck…" I fell onto my knees begging the smoking and flickering doors before me. The concrete of the sidewalk dug into my kneecaps, fresh blood and old gum meeting one another through the freshly ripped fabric that I had specially picked for this holiday with my boyfriend. My boyfriend. Why was I being punished and demonized for having a fucking boyfriend in high school like most teenage girls, and even guys. We knew each other for years, his family was always good with mine, and we never did anything we were not ready for or irresponsible. I should not even have to explain myself. My online penpal and dictator of an online tutor was not my father or lover. He had no entitlement or ownership of me. He couldn't… he couldn't…I would never forgive him if he…

I started sobbing out of fear, anger, and utter agony as I started to realize Raoul was not coming out of those doors alive. There was no way that he would be spared. I slumped onto the ground before me and absolutely lost my mind, ignoring the world and people around me as sirens started blaring. I had lost one of the most important…

Suddenly I was picked up and held tightly by a devastated Raoul.

"I thought I lost you!" He would not loosen his grip or let me go. He was covered in ash and smelled of smoke. But by god he had never been more amazing to behold.

"Holy shit…I…I…I love you please don't…"

We continued to fearfully sob and hold one another for a long time until we were separated, and the firefighters and medical personnel attended to us both, him more than myself of course. After hours of giving our interviews, being given free meals for a month at the eatery's sister location nearby, and answering to our frantic families; I was tucked away and clean in my bed once again. I stared numbly at the ceiling, holding my bear to my chest and wearing my promise ring. Before my spinning thoughts could be silenced by slumber, I was alerted to one final text that day…

 **He will not be spared again. Remove his tokens and submit to me. You. Are. MINE. Music is your passion, not this silly play at romance. Do not let him distract you from your potential. Terminate the relationship tonight or he will die. Do not disobey again my dear.**

And that's why I had to tell Raoul everything. I thought he deserved to know why he almost died and could help me get out of this situation, maybe get law enforcement involved to something. It is also why we decided to pretend that we had broken up. It was a whole fucking mess. But for now, I must finish getting ready for the day, otherwise he will break down the door of my closet. I have already wasted too much of the little free time that I do have away from _him_. And he is already even more clingy if that is even possible due to my silent treatment. Until we meet again dear journal…


End file.
